March 23, 2004

Dear Anthony,

My boss just got some funding yesterday which will enable me to have a contract and a salary. I'll be on the permanent staff as of this coming Monday . . . I am working with like-minded people, which is gratifying. I've actually enjoyed all the sit-in-front-of-the-computer research much more than I thought I would. The learning curve is very steep, so the work is challenging and and engaging. It involves a lot of writing, which I enjoy.

Working at something that I feel is making a difference to society is satisfying. I'm definitely headed in the right direction, and I feel excited about where this will lead. I'm extremely lucky that I don't need to make a lot of money at this point in my life, although there is potential for my salary to go up considerably in a few years, I think, as well as potential for other job opportunities after I'm more experienced and knowledgeable.

I couldn’t have proceeded any further until I found more confidence. That confidence could only come from discovering some part of myself that I KNOW is real and unchanging. Some ability or gift that is so strong and so much a natural part of me that it cannot be dismissed. Something in which, consequently, I have unshakable faith. The knowledge that I have THIS particular constellation of intelligences, here’s how they work together, they occur in many other people, they have been tested, named, studied, described. We (the Rockport and Pathfinders counselors) know they exist. We’ve seen them. They fit in THESE areas (research, writing, problem-solving, inventing). For me, this was one of the last pieces of what remained of the puzzle - knowing this stuff has been recognized, named and described. AFFIRMATION.

I knew what I had to do; get back to the thinking, questioning, intellectual self I abandoned years ago and give it an arena in which to operate: the social sciences. I know this part of me is so strong that I now have the confidence to go out and state that I have it and that it will be valuable to some organization. When you said you believed I should go back to the president of my new company and tell him I wanted to work for him, even if I had to volunteer, I knew it was right. When you reminded me that everyone has to pay their dues in any profession, I was able to give up the "obligation" to look for a job that would "pay me what I'm worth" and give myself permission to start at the bottom and work up, knowing that, since I'll be doing work I care about and using skills I have, I will be able to move up and forward.

Also, you helped me accept that I can’t be enthusiastic about something unless I’m interested in it (another reason the networking was difficult). Your telling me I’m a visionary (INFP) and that I should focus on social justice if that's what I'm really passionate about galvanized me. I need to honour who I am. I CAN do what other progressive social thinkers do. I just needed to get in the door somewhere in an organization that fits my values and perspectives.

I'm actually going to be paid to do the job I'd been dreaming of for 3 years!

What I learned through Rockport and Pathfinders . . . If you do what is natural to you, what comes from your true nature and what, therefore, you love, you will always be able to find work (barring catastrophes). The more you do it, the more satisfaction you get, the better you get, the more you love it, the more people will see how good you are and the more they will be interested in working with you.

Thanks again for everything. I'll keep in touch.

Best regards, Tamara