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In the world of careering, something special is in the air.
Living meaningfully, once seen only as a part of family life,
or a weekend volunteering gesture, is maturing into a daily expectation.
Since the infamous September 11th, I've coached doctors of medicine,
PhD professors in science, corporate executives, marketing
directors, attorneys at law, design engineers, accountants, and
financial analysts, each with 15 or more years under their belt
and a six figure paycheck. Big change is on their mind. "Life
is too short, I want to do something that matters to me,"
they declare with sincerity. One way or another, they ended
up in a career that doesn't fulfill them. The one thing they
all have in common--they never "chose" their career.
Did you choose your career direction? Before you answer,
try this simple test. Upon entering your first job, were you
unsure of what was in store for you? If the answer is yes, you
likely did not designedly choose it. Maybe you were imagining
yourself in a 1960s Hitchcock movie Sharade, like when Cary Grant falls in love
with Audrey Hepburn and lives happily ever after. Then you woke up
as reality hit, "Is this all there is?" In the real
world, you face consequences of your choices. Deep into their
careers, these seasoned professionals knew all they while that
something wasn't right. Putting off the "choice" further,
they waited some twenty years hoping the answer would slap them
in the face. Unfortunately for them, life did not "work
itself out."
As it turns out, surveys show that approximately 80% of us
never choose our careers. So how are we all going about making
this major life decision? The most popular technique for "not"
choosing a career is to look at the hot trends for the next 25
years and randomly pick one from the magazine list. This is
career choice via pin the tail on the "best bet" for
future marketability. Other common approaches include joining
the family business because you did not know what else to do,
and getting hired by the company your friend worked for, a temporary
thing that held you captive for 10 years. Other chart busters
include picking a career that is socially prestigious even if
you were bored with the subject matter, and doing what your parents
said was the reasonable thing to do. My personal favorite is
being a leaf in the wind, taking whatever falls in your lap to pay the bills,
and staying trapped there because you don't know what you really want out of life.
The forty-something professionals I mentioned above used one
or more of these techniques to set the direction for their life.
The recent attacks on America signaled that life is precious;
they are quite eager to choose something that expresses who they
are.
If you are asking this question, 9 times out of 10 you are
on the wrong track. You might as well be saying, "I got
married after the first date, do you think she's the right person?"
Back to the older professionals above, not only did they not
know what they would be doing day in and day out; they committed
4+ years of their life to get a costly education without fully
looking into their field. Since any "good" job would
do there was no need to dig deeper to find out if they'd like
everyday tasks, they quipped. Frankly, going to college without
knowing what the your future holds is like giving engagement
ring to a blind date. Did you go to college without a sense
of direction, and now find yourself in a career that you are
not crazy about? Maybe you're hoping things will work out later.
Committing to a specialized education (before you know how you
will use it) is very costly risk that rarely pans out. How many
people do you know who use their education on the job?
Twenty-somethings are still making these same big mistakes
today; they must not be talking to people who have been down
this road before. Or, maybe they're just getting terrible advice.
Luisa is young woman from Peru who worked very hard to get a
college degree in civil engineering, and even moved away from
her family to live in the United States. After a few years on
the job she began to feel out of place, and was getting average
performance reviews from her supervisors. Feeling stuck, she
came for help. After taking stock of her natural abilities,
she realized that she was a duck out of water in the world of
engineering. Her career as a civil engineer did not require
the use of her strongest talents to empathize with people, listen
carefully, nor meet her desire to educate others about social
issues she considers important. It hit her like a brick, "This
is not what engineers are paid to do, I'm in the wrong field!"
These stories should be a wake up call to young professionals.
Have you made a thorough decision about what to do with you life?
It's heart-breaking to see young people from around the world
who are aspiring to have a comfortable life, striving hard to
get into careers that satisfy this end, but soon after realizing
they left out their hearts desire. Lucky for her, she caught
this mismatch early and has plenty of time and lots of energy
to make a change. Unfortunate for her pocketbook, she has substantial
college debts for an education that she won't need in her new
line of work. The longer you wait the more time you lose in
gaining mastery at something you'd really love.
There are steep costs for leaving your career choice to the
"work itself out" method. Learning from the thirty
& forty-something stories, it's clear that a mismatched career
rarely resolves itself. What do you give up by "not choosing"
your career? They say vitality, enthusiasm, and passion for
living are the key things missing in their lives. All wished
they had taken stock back in their 20s before they got swept
up in whirlwind of buying homes and raising families. Many
are being treated for depression, anxiety, ulcers, bad marriages,
and have given up their hobbies. They have no energy left at
the end of the day to play, and many say they are not sure of
what really matters to them anymore. They are numb. Going for
so long on a path that does not tap your innate talent, nor is
personally meaningful, is merely existing for a living. Year
after year of pretending to be someone you're not is incredibly
stressful. As Eleanor Roosevelt said, "When you cease to
make a contribution, you begin to die." To break out of
this career torpor, many mid-career professionals are taking
sabbaticals to re-evaluate what is most important to them. When
catastrophic events like September 11th happen, we are profoundly
reminded that life is too important to squander away in mediocrity.
To "not" choose your career is actually a decision.
"If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice,"
wrote the poet Neil Peart. Given that the conventional concept
of work is to pay the bills, for many, "not choosing"
is the default method. For people who view work as a necessary
evil, any career on the top 25 list of trendy careers seems to
suffice. If it doesn't work out, as they say, work is only a
"means" to a comfortable living. If this is your philosophy
of career, then you did make a choice. You chose not to make
one. Life will work itself out, right? I look forward to meeting
you in your 40s as one of my dispassionate career clients.
Are you making choices that satisfy what is most meaningful
to you and express your ability? A wise man once told me, "Everyone
is always 100% committed to what they have." I now realize
what he meant, if you don't like what you have, and you're not
trying to change your situation, then you are committed to "not"
having what you most want. This explains why so many people
well into mid-life are just now beginning to reflect on what matters
to them. They were fully committed to "work is work,"
and got exactly what they expected. If they were fully committed
to "work is play," you can bet they would have a life
that looks very different. After thorough reflection, most of
those professionals said they would not have even considered
the path they are currently on if they could go back in time.
It's as if they were living somebody else's life, and are waking
up out of bad dream. What would your life look like if you committed
to a choosing a career that expressed your natural talents in
a field you truly care about?
Benjamin, a systems engineer in his mid thirties recently
asked me, "How do I figure out what to do with my life?"
He explained that he had fallen into systems engineering because
his parents rated it as a practical thing to do. He did not
choose it, his parents did. He stated strongly, "I want
to do something that matters to the world, that I personally
believe is important." I asked him, so what is really important
to you? After some reflection he said, "Saving the environment
through energy efficient architecture, saving people lives (like
an ER doctor), and creating something artistic (like a master
craftsman)." As we examined his natural talents, it was
clear he was born with a gift to solve complex 3-dimensional
problems. The fields he stated as meaningful all satisfied
this requirement, so he was thinking on the right track. He
then asked me, "Which one do you think I should do?"
I responded, I have no idea, you'll have to go test all three
to see which you like the best. He said, "You mean like
going on dates?" Yup, I said, that's exactly what I mean.
"But what if I still can't figure it out?" he said.
Well, I asked, how did you decide to marry your wife? He replied,
"We dated for a good while. Being with each other day after
day, we just knew." After a long pause he said, "Ahhhh
. . . I got it!"
Just after the September 11th attacks, many Americans asked,
"What can I do?" It's obvious that people want to do
much more than "Go about your normal business," as
suggested in the media. More profoundly, let's take some inspiration
from Dean Kamen, an inventor who revolutionized the kidney dialysis
machine and is the pioneer of a new personal transportation device
he calls "Ginger," which he envisions will someday
reduce our dependence on the automobile and eliminate rush hour
traffic. He said, "If everyone thinks what you do is "normal"
. . . it probably is. Why do that? Do something else!"
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