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If you're still wondering about what you should be doing with
your life, welcome to the human race. Seeking our place in the
world, we job hop, move across the country, get graduate degrees,
get married, buy a house and a sport utility vehicle, and have
2.5 kids. Keeping ours lives busy makes us feel like we're accomplishing
something. Been there, done that! What else is there? What are
we hungry for? Just "doing" isn't enough for us. Human
beings need to have a reason. Knowing "why" we do what
we do gives us meaning. Deep down, each of us has a sense that
there is something special we're destined for. Our quest for
meaning is part of our nature; we are designed this way. Many
people never adequately answer the question, "What do I
want to be?" and go through life feeling like something's
missing. Finding one's life direction is largely left to fate,
chance, or the first job they happen to fall into.
"Where am I going from here with my life?" Looking
back, many mid-career professionals remember how they danced
around or totally avoided this tough question when making major
life decisions. In reflection they say, "It seemed more
important to get my life moving. I figured that it would all
work out later." Before you know it, a few years pass by,
then 5 or 10 more, and the future never seems to work itself
out. But we're persistent in trying to find an answer. We are
on a restless mission to find the career nirvana where our lives
will be more whole and complete. At our core, we yearn to push
our envelope and satisfy the inner voice in that asks us to be
extraordinary at something. Can you hear it calling you? "What
am I meant to do?"
Contrary to the common wisdom that says "everything will
work out on it's own," real life experience teaches us that
it doesn't! People who are retiring will tell you that they're
still waiting, hoping for answers. If you are tired of waiting,
then let's try a different approach. As an experiment, suspend
the notion that your future is "out there" waiting
for you. Pretend the future is not a place or distant time, but
an idea in your mind-a fantasy that doesn't exist yet. Do the
same with your past; pretend it's just a bank of memories in
your mind. Imagine yourself standing there with no future and
no past. What have you got? This moment! This is it. Now.
Let's test out this theory. Sitting right where you are, count
to three right now: 1, 2, 3. At the very instant you say the
number "3" where are you, in the FUTURE or in the PRESENT?
Three seconds of your future just slipped by you, did you notice?
Of course you didn't! The future "is" the present in
each instant. Let's alter the experiment a little. Rather than
count to three, say the word "now" three times. Ready
. . . go: Now, Now, Now. If you're confused, keep trying this
experiment until you get it. Someday it will hit you like a brick.
The future is now. If this is true, then the theory that "things
will work out" is not true. It doesn't stand the test of
time! So, if the future is not really "out there" waiting
to be found, and all we have is this moment, then how do we find
our path? We make one up! There is nothing to find, nothing waiting
for you, and no destined meaning for your life. Please remember
that this is an experiment, not the truth.
Imagine your future as an infinitely long and wide blank canvas
rolled out on the road of life just in front of you. Your future
is unfolding before your eyes second-by-second. You have a choice
to make: to invent your future or let circumstances steer it
for you. Are you ready to begin inventing it? If so, start with
your innate talents. They are a major design component to build
into your future. In previous career columns I discussed how
natural talent plays a big part in long-term career fulfillment.
Do you know what comes naturally to you? Answering this question
is the first big step to creating a meaningful path. Once you
understand your innate talents and commit to using them, the
next step is to decide "where" to focus your talent.
In the human kingdom we need to have a reason for using our
innate abilities. Unlike squirrels, we wouldn't be happy climbing
just any old tree. We would need to pick a special tree, one
that matters to us! For example, most athletes recognize their
"body IQ" early in life. They are natural at speed,
agility, and balance without much training. At some point they
pick a specific sport to master. What makes one sport more appealing
than another? The natural athlete has a choice to make--what sport
do I love most? The same holds for the natural engineer. The
inborn ability to analyze and solve spatial problems can be applied
in many fields. A computer engineer uses the same inborn talents
as a dentist, mechanic, and a brain surgeon. Deciding what matters
"most" is another major component to design into your
future.
If you're clever, you may have noticed that I've tricked you.
I've taken that big question: "Where am I going with my
life," and broke it up into two smaller questions. The question
"What comes naturally to me?" is different than, "What
really matters to me?" Indeed, you actually have two problems
to solve in choosing your career direction. The first is to figure
out what your inborn talents are, and the second is to decide
what direction you want to aim them. Einstein recognized early
that he was a natural at visualizing complex spatial problems
in his mind's eye. He chose to aim these gifts in the field of
physics, and more specifically, to play with a mystery that mattered
deeply to him. He could have used these same talents to be an
architect or a film director! However, what gave him joy was
trying to answer a single question, "What is the nature
of reality?" Unhappy with the notion that he was considered
a born "genius," he accredited his accomplishments
to a lifelong commitment of using his best talents in service
of an intriguing purpose. "A person starts to live when
he can live outside of himself," he declared. To bring this
point home, imagine yourself as an archer. Your talent would
be the bow and arrow. Your life direction is the target. As they
say in Zen, be one with the target. Aim your talent at something
that truly matters to you.
The future you design is really just a landmark, an ideal,
to guide you in living fully day to day. How you live your life
"now" is the most important point. Choosing a direction
for your life is kind of "trick" you play on yourself.
Design your path, then forget about it and enjoy the journey.
How will you know your going the right way? If you fall in love
with what you're doing, you'll know. Trust your instincts; on
the inside you'll feel like your taking a big chance. Making
your own way takes a leap of faith.
The payoff to designing and living "into" your future
is extraordinary. When you commit your talents to something that
matters, you find yourself getting up each day with a purpose.
Nicholas Lore, best selling career author states, "When
life is about caring for the orchard, rather than picking the
apples, you get more apples to eat. It is quite paradoxical,
but as soon as you give up trying to make yourself happy, you
are!" Your career path is your best opportunity to make
a commitment to something you deeply care about. You'll likely
spend most of your life on the job, why not make it really count?
What ideals would move you to get up each day feeling fully alive?
How do you want to make a difference in the world with your unique
talent? Be bold-invent the perfect future, and go live it. That's
what you were meant to do.
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