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You're winning the game, and with flying colors. The hard
work paid off. A college-educated professional, you've got the
sexy car, sweet paycheck, and money in the stock market. Damn
you look good; you're a real American beauty. Yup, that cell
phone looks good on you too.
Act I: Topical Career Conversation
You're not married yet? Get on the ball, gotta do that and
buy the house before your 30th birthday! Ya don't wanna miss
the deadline, or else. I agree. The key is to be established
in a prestigious career, secure, and set for life.
So, what's this you say about missing one main thing? Yeh,
I've heard of this quarter-life crisis thing, feeling aimless
and bored in your twenties and thirties. If you don't really
like your work, don't pout, you're not supposed too. Exactly,
you're expecting too much, nobody enjoys the job. Work is "work,"
you know, Thank God it's Friday! Look around, everybody else
seems Ok with it. Yes, I understand that lots of people are in
this situation. Gotta do whatcha gotta do. But hey, this lifestyle
is exactly what you hoped for. You're comfortable, right? Anyway,
you should be proud. You won fair and square, the college degree
and good paying J.O.B, you got it all. Even if it was a stab
in the dark, no sweat, at least you fell into something practical.
Nobody ever said work was supposed to be fun anyway. You did
what you were supposed to, and that's how you win the game of
life. Congratulations. You're a success story.
Act II: Quarter-Life Crisis?
So, you were saying that you're not excited about your work?
Gee whiz, they didn't tell you what to expect out here? You see;
you chose to play an ancient game of life--survival. Having fulfilling
work is not one of the outcomes of this game, never was. Instead,
you opted out for the stock survival objectives; looking good,
social status, prestige, high income, sprawling house in the
burbs, SUV, etc. Well, that's that. By the way, have you heard
that many people are getting high scores in this game by age
twenty-five now? So get with it, stay the course, and don't let
anybody coax you into wanting more out of your work life--it's
just too risky. As they say, don't worry, be happy. Life will
work itself out; just like it always does.
Act III: The Easy Answer, Retire
So, what's next for you? Ah, you're planning to be an entrepreneur,
or retire early to do something more fun. Yep, a few Dot.Com'ers
were pretty successful at that. Got it. Wow, good luck with that.
What are the odds of buying your way to financial freedom? Not
pretty, huh? Oh well, sixty or more years of surviving for a
living ain't so bad. Just keep reminding yourself how much more
comfortable and secure you're going to be, bigger house, fancier
car, exotic trips, etc. Don't worry, you'll get used to that
dull job after 10 years or so. Over the decades you'll get good
at pretending to enjoy your work. Nobody will notice you're faking
it, really. It's a good thing for the big bucks and benefits
package; otherwise it wouldn't be worth it. But what the heck,
in 15 years you'll be half way to retirement. FYI, a clever trick
to get you through your workday is to take longer lunches, this
way you can daydream all about what you really want to be. Well,
it was nice meeting you. Have a nice life. Oh, all the best with
living for the weekend.
The conversation above illustrates the key game most of us
play--The Survival Game. If it sounds familiar, maybe
you are playing this game all too well. Your "game of life"
is a personal philosophy, the one you've chosen
to live by. Check in now, what is the overarching principle that
shapes your life and career choices? Do you think of work as
a necessary drudgery to support your lifestyle, or as an expression
of your creativity?
Prehistoric and biological at the root, the survival game
began at the beginning of time. All life on earth has been playing
by this game of existence for billions of years. We humans picked
up the game somewhere around 4.5 millions years ago. We are masters
at playing this game, securing ourselves from danger, seeking
comfort, eating, sleeping, procreating, seeking social status,
and fighting off enemies. Sound familiar? It's not a hard stretch
to see us humans featured on an Animal Planet special.
The introductory dialogue above was written by real people;
an inner-life drama of the "internal conversation"
going on in their heads. Acting as their own devil's advocate,
they are trying to make sense of why they are not happy with
even the most prestigious careers. Most say they recognized,
on some level, that they were letting their survival instincts
rule their lives, but since everyone else was too, it seemed
like the right thing to do. These biological "play it safe"
forces are ever present. Just since the Dot.com revolution fizzled
out in recent months, law and medical schools are reporting a
dramatic increase in enrollment. Young professionals are quoted
as saying they want something with "long-term security"
for a more "certain" future. Here we are in the year
2001; the survival philosophy is unquestionably the default game
of life for young college-educated professionals. At the same
time, twenty-somethings instinctively know that this philosophy
is old fashioned. The "crisis" they are feeling is
perhaps a recognition that something more is possible, but don't
know what "that" could be.
Lucky for all of us, this is amazing time to be alive; the
survival game is loosing allure. It took about over 4 million
years to get to this point, thanks to all the hard work of all
generations before us. Indeed, we have one-comfy-foot in the
yester world mentality, even when everyday life scarcely poses
threats to our survival, and one-restless-foot across the doorstep
into a new territory. We are achieving, right now, the dreams
of our ancestors--to be free from starvation, disease, and discomfort AND--to
express our creativity. A call for a celebration is in order.
If you happen to live in the United States, you have access to
more wealth and resources than most of the world to direct your
destiny in a meaningful way. Beyond survival strategies, you
have new-sprung choices available to you. Working only to achieve
a comfortable standard of living is terribly shortsighted. Or,
are you willing to forgo your chance to fully "thrive"
in the modern world? If escaping discomfort is your only mission,
you might as well be living in back in the dark age.
The opportunity to create fulfilling work for yourself is
here, you have a choice that was not available to humanity until
now. No longer is the survival game the "only" game
in town. There is plenty of elbowroom for you to create your
own game of life, and set your own rules for winning the game.
Beyond being comfortable, what else do you want to achieve with
your life? Should you keep waiting for your life to happen to
you, and magically work itself out?
Some of your elders (and maybe your parents) are now playing
a brand new game; they are breaking all the rules and creating
careers that go beyond basic survival instincts. Most say that
they started as comfort junkies, but quickly found that although
it's important to live with ease, it's not enough. They are the
unquestioned professionals we all admire. Advanced degrees in
science, engineering, medicine, business, and the arts put them
on top of the world, but something was still missing. The high
salary and social prestige were not enough to cure the anxiety
they felt each morning on the way to a job that didn't matter
to them. Well-established in their careers, people from age 30
on up to age 70 are pulling themselves out of the comfort zone
and seeking ways to use their natural abilities and creativity.
They are choosing a new life game, one that inspires them to
stretch for something greater than their own security.
If you're in your twenties today, you have an incredible advantage.
A key insight can be learned from older professionals who say
they wish they made wiser choices when they were younger. Quite
a few are boldly reinventing themselves at mid-career, despite
the social expectations that seem to say "wait until retirement"
to do what you love. More interestingly, even retired people
are beginning to question the long-held survival philosophy of
life. Major newspapers are doing feature stories illustrating
retirees' discontent with the easy life of porch sitting, golf,
and bus trips to gambling casinos. Take notice, the older generation
that taught you that "security" is the be-all-end-all,
are changing their mind! Well into mid-career (with families
and all), people are deciding to live on their edge, be more
creative, and are starting second careers in there 40s, 50s,
60s and even 70s. These seasoned professionals desire to keep
working, but are not returning to their old jobs. Rather, they
are seeking work they find meaningful and rewarding, many with
regret that they kept waiting for their life to "work itself
out." As they confess, it never did.
Is your philosophy of life to play it safe and do the sure
thing, or to discover your own path? The first step in freeing
yourself from the lure of the survival game is to step back and
call a spade a spade. If you're winning the survival game (you're
comfortable, but bored), then celebrate this milestone and move
on to the next stage of your life. If you feel lost, as if your
life is happening to you, and you're caught up in doing what
you "should" or "should not" do, then you're
likely playing that old game well. To begin playing your own
game of life, try this: stand on top of your desk at work one
day, and shout at the top of your lungs, "I'm bored as hell
and I'm not going to play this game anymore!#@!" "Game
Over!" Then, declare a new game of life, for instance: The
Creativity Game or, Making the World a Better Place Game.
Make up objectives for winning your new game of life, such as
"to get out of bed each morning excited to go to work,
and to fully engage my natural talents at something I really
care about." Lastly, go play your new game like
you mean it.
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